Monday, June 6, 2011

Blessed be the name of the Lord

The last week has been difficult!  In part to something that happened that hurt so deeply i can't talk about it.  But i got home late last Weddnesday, i think.  The days run togther like raindrops on a window paine.  Since i've been home i have spoken to 3 people.  My good friend Debbie listened to me cry on the phone.  She just listened.  Then she came over and brought supper and we watched movies and then we did something i can't commit to print! (not really as bad as it sounds) Our friends the cabinetmaker and his wife came by for a visit today.  They brought some exotic fruit i had never had.  It were good.  And Khan patched a hole in the wall for me.  They are good friends.
I've been wandering through the house seeing things that have memories and crying.  My Chuck Museum.  I haven't felt like reading Gods Word or praying.  I couldn't sleep last night for the pain and i pleaded w God to speak to me.  I got out my 31 Days of Praise book and read and prayed for myself.  God please speak to me!  Then my phone signaled that i had a text message.  It was from someone that moved away.   This distant friend sent me words of encouragement.  How did they know i was at my most desperate time?
I had been feeling alone and abandoned by everyone.  I am still lost when it comes to what to do with the bills and the tax Return still needs doing.  I did a few calls today and got a few things done.
I said i would write about my plans (Gods plan) to spend 6 or so months in Kiev, Ukraine.  I leave Sept 21 and will meet up with our missionaries, The Elsingers< in Amsterdam, the we will go together to Kiev.  I will be working with a Parish Nurse from the EFCA (Evangelical Free Church of America).  Her name is Pam.  It will be a busy time but it will be rewarding.  It will help me get my mind off Chuck.  When i was there he wasn't, so i want be looking for him or asking his help, because i didn't when i was there before.  He knows that was my plan when he died and he was ok with it.
My main prayer request is that i will be there to gloryify God in all that i do.  I need prayer that i will develope my relationship with Him the way it once was.  I also need prayer for my health.  That i will be able to keep up the pace.  God has done that for me before.  I claim 2 Cor 12:8-11.  His grace is sufficent for me because His power is made perfect in my weakness.

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